First Kiss
Today was Elijah’s first kiss! 
At Little Gym class today, Elijah and I were sitting on the blue steps, deciding which obstacle to conquer next. Then out of nowhere, little McKenzie came over, placed her two small hands on either side of his face and gently pulled him toward her. She gave him a good kiss on the lips! I just cracked up! And you know - it didn’t even phase Elijah! He just kept sitting there, swinging his legs, watching all the kids run around. McKenzie’s mom just exuded with apologies, explaining that McKenzie is just a very touchy feely kind of girl and that she realized some parents are very particular about closeness and germs. Still laughing, I told her it was fine. Kids are kids!
So aside from his first kiss, Elijah had a particularly good class. Since I started taking him about a month ago, he isn’t very willing to do a lot of the activities with the teacher. This is very different from what Fran and I last saw when we used to take him and from when Grandma took him a few weeks back. We chalked it up to a new class with new kids and new teacher and his new daily routine. But today, he was the only one willing to do a handstand and even hung on the high bar (While taller than Mama, it’s probably 6 feet off the ground) with Mr. BJ, the teacher, and practiced switching hand grips. As usual, he wasn’t fond of batting the ball with his soft stick, but once bubble and stamp time came around, he needn’t even bat an eye as to where I was. Good job, Elijah!
Posted by frangela on August 15th, 2008 under Elijah, Fun | 2 Comments »Getting By on 3 Hours of Sleep
Surprisely I am holding up really well. Minus a few venting sessions with my mom and Fran, I feel in a cheery mood and in control, one of my favorite things!
Things that have gotten me through on my nearly 3 hours of sleep today:
1. Elijah’s random hugs. He knows I need them!
2. His random cackle.
3. Seeing how Fran and I have been replaced with Elmo. While sad for me, he cracks me up When Sesame Street came on this morning, he was playing Mr. Cool about it. As soon as Elmo came on, he started shrieking and jumping up and down. I remember when we used to get that reception coming home from work!
4. Delicious lemonade from Frannie. Her support and love are simply amazing and just thinking about it makes me teary. I am blessed beyond measure.
5. Elijah’s nearly 3 hour nap (Holy cow! I usually only get 2!) in which I napped for an hour and got back to work.
6. The thunderstorm. Despite my paranoia of tornados (not realistic just due to previous experiences), I love the rain! I feel relaxed and renewed
7. How Elijah very gently brushes the hair out of my face when I am sitting on the floor playing with him. It tugs at my heart.
8. Remembering our daily morning walk from yesterday that our son greatly enjoyed and renewed my neighborhood appreciation. We heard drums so I rushed to catch up with them - not easy carrying your 12 extra pounds, plus a stroller with a 25 pound dancing toddler in the morning heat! It was the local high school band again, practicing through the neighborhood. I tried my hardest to catch up but we chased them for 6 or 7 blocks. We were finally within 30 feet of them by the time they reached the school for break. While it broke Elijah’s heart to tears, he’s adamant about turning his flags around like the flag team and banging the floor like drums. It was so nice to see a lot of the neighbors and kids come outside to wave at them as they waved by. Elijah and I got called groupies
9. A project extension because the customer loves my co-worker/friend. Good job, Desi!
Posted by frangela on August 5th, 2008 under Elijah, Health, Family, Fun, WAHM | 3 Comments »20 Freakin’ Weeks, Baby!
Thank you, Jesus! It is still so unbelievable. I woke up this morning to Fran rubbing my belly, “Happy 20 weeks!” I was exhausted, but I mananged an “Amen!” What a time to be here! Last night, or really this morning, I was up until 4:30am trying to get crazy work stuff done. Le sigh! And thank you for extensions! I shall not get into my whiney self yet. I’m holding out until this project is officially over!
Well, the belly feels huge already and I am halfway there. Tonight a belly shot.
Posted by frangela on August 5th, 2008 under Elijah, Health, Baby II, WAHM | 1 Comment »Extreme Family Fun Weekend
Saturday night is just coming to an end but thus far we’ve had a super fun weekend! Fran surprised Elijah and I Thursday night by telling us that she took Friday off. (Monday may begin another round of project chaos to our lives.) Yay! Friday morning, I had time off and Fran took Elijah to his gym class. Then on their way home they saw our neighborhood high school band marching the neighborhood, practicing away. So they followed them around for several blocks. We had lunch with Grandma, Google (aka Great-Grandma), Great Aunt Carmen and Cousin Pat. Spending time with our family is always on top of our fun list. Elijah, our ham, was the center of attention. In the afternoon, we all relaxed and played at home. Still wanting to have fun, we couldn’t decide what to do for dinner. We ended up playing tourists and going downtown to eat at Mi Tierra. Elijah, of course, enjoyed all the pinatas and papel picado and balloon that one of the waiters brought. He even got a treat when Mom called the mariachis over for Cielito Lindo.
This morning we had our last music class for the summer session. While we almost didn’t make it due to extreme laziness, but we were super glad we went. Grandparents and cousins attended, and there was such an energy among on the participants. This ended our second semester of Music Together and we’ve really come to know some of the other kids. It was great fun! I left pooped beyond words! Off we scurried to the zoo. We’ve had our family membership for almost a year now and each time we go, we end up missing the petting zoo. Fran absolutely had to get this in! This trip we didn’t take the stroller so Elijah could walk (run around like a mad man, really) with us and we could take our time. The zoo was absolutely packed, but we got to feed the fish, the lories and the goats. Elijah was most fond of the fish, and really could have cared less about the goats. We were quite surprised! He wanted to play with their hair brushes and try to brush his own hair. Ewww! We wanted to fit in more of the toads and frogs, but Elijah was wearing thin so we headed home. Whilst Elijah napped for 2.5 hours, Mom and Mama got to play Jeopardy on the laptop. Oh, how I am a fool for Jeopardy! During this time, I ate what is probably my most pregnant meal/snack ever: cookies and cream ice cream (right before we left the zoo) chased by two dill pickles as soon as we got home. Mmmmm, refreshing! For dinner? A fatty meal from the Golden Arches complete with an hour of Elijah running up and down the stairs and riding down the “sliii” (aka slide). After coming home and banging around on Mom’s keyboard from nearly two decades ago, our boy sleeps peacefully. His little body is exhausted I am sure. Now I await and see what wonderful desserts my lovely wife brings home to me Mmm, fatty food weekend! Every once in a while, your body just needs it
Lacking Direction, Motivation and Discipline
My son is an hour into his two hour nap. I’ve done a tiny spot of work (deleted a single relationship from my database), folded two pieces of clothing, talking to my mom and ate about half a canteloupe. I am super stressed about work. (Don’t ever say you are dropping down to part-time work from out of the house and forget to see which responsibilities are no longer yours. I warn you now! You run the risk of keeping all of them as the sole developer in a new language with about half or less the time to get them done in while pregnant and chasing a very active 20 month old. Oh, wait! That’s me!) So I should be working, especially after Elijah and I spend two hours at work (He behaved like an angel once again! And really interacted well with people he hardly ever sees.) trying to get some questions answered about my project that is due in 5 days. Oh crap! What are they going to do? Fire me? I was considering quitting completely any way!
I would love to clean the house. That’s my thing! I love cleaning, cooking, baking, all those home-like tasks are right up my alley. But I can’t peel myself away now from looking up random things on the internet. There are dishes to be washed, couch cushions to cover (Our lovely Schnauzer vomited on the couch over the weekend. While I cleaned it all up, I have failed to put the cushions back together.), loads of clothes to be folded, errands to organize, etc.
I think I lack discipline. I should also be taking a nap. I’ve been getting 5 hours a night with no naps and body’s just about had it. I need me some good, greasy, unhealthy food quick. When all the feelings collide I need comfort food. But once again, nothing appeals to me but ice cream… Alright so back to chatting with folks…
Posted by frangela on July 31st, 2008 under Random, Elijah, Work, Venting, Baby II, WAHM | Comment now »I’ve Got Them Fooled!
I had an appointment with my regular OB yesterday. Sadly, it was a boring visit, i.e. no sonogram. And Fran had actually missed the gender discovery visit (but Grandma, her mom, went with me!) so I felt particularly bad that it was boring visit for her. We did heard a steady heartbeat and that’s always soothing and amazing.
I am so happy with my OB doctor. She’s got a great personality, she’s friendly, she includes both of us in everything and just overall gives me a great happy feeling. I usually leave her office gushing to Fran, “Awww! I really like her!” Now normally, I laugh a lot but I don’t consider myself a super cheery person, just average, but definitely moodier than average… I think I have her fooled. One more than two occassions, she has mentioned how I am always smiling and laughing. Yesterday she crossed her fingers and looked at Fran, wishing me luck to maintain that throughout the remainder of the pregnancy. Of course, I laughed! I remember when I started working at my current job people would tell me how happy and smiling I always am. One guy went as far to say, “Angela, you are just a ball of sunshine!” Bleh - sugar coated I know! But I called my mom and she just thought, “Boy! Do you have them fooled! They obviously don’t know you very well!” I think she thinks that I am moodier than most. Nonetheless, I think I do have these folks fooled!
Posted by frangela on July 31st, 2008 under Random | Comment now »19 Weeks
I can hardly believe that I am one week away from being at the half way mark! It seems amazingly unreal. Each morning, I feel my belly and thank God for placing us here.
Unfortunately, I just found out this weekend that one of our neighbors recently miscarried. I instantly had chills all over my body and wanted to cry. She insisted that she was okay and that we offered her hope. Even still, it made me so mad. I hate that practically every one I know has experienced this at least once. There are four of us under the age of thirty at work and each of us has had at least one miscarriage. What are these statistics?! Why is it so commonplace? Fran and I have a theory. Perhaps today’s average woman is too involved or has too much pressure on her. And not in a bad way, but I truly believe that one needs to maintain a low stress profile. Who knows - but that’s my basic belief.
Today I had a ultrasound. I was scared to death that there would be no movement. It’s funny how a month ago I was dying for another ultrasound and today I wanted to avoid it at all costs. Nonetheless, I woke up this morning, wanting to be positive and not to worry. I had to remain positive for our little Mango, Elijah and Fran. So off I went… The baby? Growing just as expected! T-L baby #2 is weighing just about 9oz and length/head/leg measurements are at 20 weeks. It was wonderful to see the baby again. I am grateful!
Now orginally, I was 110% set that I didn’t want to know the gender of the baby. I thought it would be fun and as spontaneous as my OCD brain would allow me. I loved the excitement of thinking of waiting until the day of our child’s birth to find out what we were adding to our family. Fran, on the other hand, wanted to know, no doubt about it. Ergh! So I was torn about what to do. I wanted her to know because she’s the primary bread winner and want her to feel as involved as possible in this journey, but the silly side of me refused to find out. Our compromise was that she could find out but couldn’t tell me or anyone else. I wondered how that would work out, but I trusted her. Then this whole thing made me go back and forth. I would know which of Elijah’s boy-specific clothes to pack away for storage and pull out the gender neutral items. I didn’t think I would be wanting to deal with this with a new baby and high energy toddler. I thought it would be nice to refer to the baby as “he” or “she”. Oh, I couldn’t decide! And honestly I could care less which…
Today, when I was asked, “Do you want to know the gender?” My heart skipped a beat. “I don’t know… I’m nervous!” All of a sudden and as strange as it seemed, the pregnancy felt so distant from me. “Okay…”
So…
Posted by frangela on July 29th, 2008 under Random | 5 Comments »Necessity is the Mother of Invention
Friday afternoon, Elijah and I were doing our usual cleaning. I decided to throw a load in the washing machine and I was surprised when it turned off suddenly. Did the large load usually take longer than that?! Hmph! I went and thought may be I forgot to push the button. So I pushed it and went on my merry way. After playing outside with bubbles, I came in to put the clothes in the dryer. What a lovely surprise to see the washing machine still full of water! Great!
Working part-time, with one toddler and one on the way and a broken washing machine. Thank you! A couple of months ago, I would have loved to buy a new washing machine, but now is not the time. Fran and I decided to run away from our problem and go on a little dinner date to my favorite Japanese restaurant. Upon returning, dedicated Fran stayed up, playing with the machine as I looked for parts. Surely, our engineering background could come to some use! And alas, it did! Fran fixed the washing machine and it shall remain so indefinitely!
Garage Sale Success
This weekend I had our largest garage sale ever planned. It’s been in the works since April. I had boxes of items that I had been setting aside and diligently putting price tags on each item for sale and creating (suprise, suprise!) a spreadsheet to itemize the merchandise. I estimated that if we sold everything we wanted at our prices, we would make over $600. A long shot I know, but we didn’t get too far off! We made nearly $500 - pure profit minus the permit. (I asked my kind mom to get me change for the garage sale since she works at a bank, but since we were giving them our TV, she refused to accept a check.) So with slightly sunburned shoulders and exhausted feet, I say we had a huge success! And the best part of the garage sale? Just talking with our neighbors! Fran and I just can’t get enough of our neighborhood. I must admit that I didn’t always feel this way. Moving into an older neighborhood was hard for me and I definitely had my doubts, but now I don’t think I could get myself to leave. Everyone is just so caring and friendly. Some family teases and says it’s nosy, but it gives me that nostalgic feeling for how neighborhoods used to be perhaps in my grandparent’s youth. Everyone knows everyone and looks out for each other. Everyone just wants to say “Hi!” and just expect anything in return. We are so fortunate to have our neighbors. Because we like lists, we caught up with and I’m sure I missed a few:
- The P-S family from down the street who started up our meetings for the neighborhood garden
- Danny and his sister from across the street
- Kevin from next door, teasing that we just had a garage sale and can’t get enough
- The S family drove by, and then walked back to our house just to say Hi
- The neighborhood realtor who is also involved in the neighborhood garden. Of course she enticed me with a ride in her golf cart to peruse some properties that recently have gone up for sale
- A friend of a neighbor a block over, wanting to talk about philosophy, the economy and conspiracy theories - one of the most interesting of topics
- Two sets of neighbors who saw our home during the home tour several years back who were eager to buy our huge terra cotta pots. (Unfortunately we’ve let much of our plants die. One of my many dreams right now is getting the landscaping back in order.)
- Leslie and her newly rescued canine friend. Unfortunately, when she called the phone number on the puppy’s tag, the owners keep hanging up, so as a self-described cat-lover-not-so-much-with-dogs is trying to find him a good home.
- A set of bikers (not motorcycle bikers) who just like to ride around on Saturday mornings together, looking for fun. The guy I sold my mom’s 1980’s bike to, is actually in the IT department at one of the local universities. Hmmm, good thing I got his card!
- Our newest neighbor two houses down who we gave a little “Welcome to the Neighborhood!” gift.
- Our other next door neighbor who just returned to Turkey. She just can’t resist Elijah
- A neighbor whom we believe is a stalker of a friend of friend. Dun dun dun! Gotta love drama!
- Tia Eve stopped by several times
- All the grandparents stopped by at various times of the day, some even being repeat visitors.
- And a couple of people wanting to make their home in the neighborhood.
Hopefully, this will be our last garage sale for a while. Our Mission OCD, which I have yet to fully explain, has been a longer journey than expected, but we’ve really purged our home of superfluous junk that we don’t need. We figure it’s less to maintain and easier to keep the house clean. Walking in our clean, simple home feels awesome! And even though I don’t open certain closets or drawers, it just feel cleaner and simpler walking near them. We still have a few more projects up our sleeve, but this was a break through.
Posted by frangela on July 28th, 2008 under Family, Home, Friends, Fun | 1 Comment »Too Long Gone
Alright, alright, if I don’t sit down and type something this very minute, I fear I shall never get back!
Yesterday I was in a super moody/sappy place. We’ve tried so hard to get here, that I told myself I was not going to be moody or complain a lot (worrying about spotting and bleeding doesn’t count, folks!), but yesterday it was tough! The night before the air conditioner was on, the fan was on high and I didn’t have a single cover on me, but I could have sworn the front door was open or our AC was out. I woke up grouchy to say the least! But nothing that a surprise gift of Oreos, red roses, Haagen Daz vanilla swiss almond ice cream and a portable fan from my amazing Frannie won’t fix! Plus she took off the afternoon to spend some time with me while Elijah napped, then we went for a family walk and relaxed and watch movies. Ah! Much better! Thank you, Fran!
I have been craving Oreos for months. Hell, since even before I got pregnant. But I’ve been trying super hard not to eat anything that we wouldn’t feed Elijah. As some of you may know, we were super strict with Elijah’s diet the first 6 months he was here with us; he only ate organic fruits and veggies we prepared or whole wheat breads. But now we are more laxed with him. So I try to keep his diet of foods, my own as well for Bell Pepper.
Okay, Elijah woke up early from his nap, so this is start for now. But I shall be catching up soon!
Posted by frangela on July 25th, 2008 under Random, Elijah, Diet, Health, Food, Venting, Baby II | 1 Comment »The First Day… For Real
Okay, okay… Today for real is the first day of Elijah and Mama at home together. Thus far, we’ve had a great day.
Elijah had two eggs with two slices of cheddar cheese and about 10 or so green beans and his V8 fruit/veggie juice and milk. Earlier in the morning he snuck snips of our fruit smoothies. Then he played and danced around me while I washed the dishes. Shortly after we left to run a couple of quick errands together and came home for a lunch (Elijah: Boca Burger and fideo. Me: leftover chili from last night.) We then played with elephant blocks and made them go “Boom!”
Originally, I had hoped to have more things organized and cleaned out before this point, but over my three days off, I did a few things but I got tired much quicker than I anticipated. Plus, I got distracted with the computer issues from Fran’s cousin, which I am very happy to say that we made some progress last night. (We backed up their data and found out the hard drive went out. So we await a new hard drive and install everything fresh. I know we are nerds, but it’s fun!) I resolved myself to not be so obsessive and just take my time. The whole point of this transition was for me to be less stressed, take care of our son and prepare for the next one. If I get things done, great! If not, let’s just make sure Elijah and Avocado stay healthy and fed and Mama stays healthy and sane and gets some work done. (Yeah, that last bit is proving to be harder than I anticipated! I gotta devise a plan…)
Now he awakes from a two hour nap. I am off!
16 Week Sentiments
Overall, I feel that I have had very mild pregnancy symptoms. Luckily I never faced morning sickness, unless I waited a minute too long to eat. My exhaustion/energy level and quickly growing breasts were the only things that seemed truly apparent. Within the last week though my emotions are running high and my ability to eat is lacking.
Yesterday I spent a few hours at Fran’s cousin’s house, trying to help with computer problems. Despite the fact that I had a great time hanging out with the family, I felt lacking because I couldn’t (shouldn’t have) picked up the computer to turn it around to poke around. Instead, I let her cousin do the flipping around. I couldn’t get the computer back up and running for over three hours! This used to be my job! I just felt like a disappoinment. I came home, knowing I would be back in the morning, but feeling exhausted and emotional.
I made us this delicious Tuscan chicken with roasted tomatoes, zucchini and fennel. I took the “before” but forgot the “after.”
I was excited to make it, but once all was said and done and everyone had their plates, I could barely muster a bite. For the past week or so, I just can’t stomach food. I am hungry, but once the food is in front of me, I can’t do it. Fran tempts me with pizza, hamburgers, chocolate milk, but I think she’s realized that even the stuff that you would think would sound good just aren’t cutting. I think it started with leftoevers. I would have good intentions of heating up leftovers for my meal, but they nauseasted me. Now it’s fresh or leftovers. I know I gotta each for little Avocado, but I haven’t found a staple that I can depend on lately.
Last night, I just laid in bed sad and frustrated. I know I should be grateful for where I am - after all it took us so long to get here, but I just felt out of place. I told Fran that my weird dreams about us make me feel unsettled and paranoid. And that’s odd because I am not the jealous or insecure relationship type. I have always felt confident with us and trust in our relationship. We talked about it and it doesn’t feel like anything has changed. Fran is incredibly patient with me and for that I am so grateful. I guess I just chalk it up to the hormones or my new transition to being a WAHM.
Alas, this morning I woke up feeling better. I said “Screw work!” and slept an extra two hours. I think my body needed that. Plus this awesome rain is just refreshing - I love the rain! I went back to Fran’s cousin’s house to pick up the computer and had them load it into the car. I figure Fran and I can work on it together tonight. Now I just mustered some roasted tomatoes and zucchini and few bits of leftover chicken. I think a tall glass of cold milk might be good and then I am back on my head with catch up cleaning before Elijah and I venture off into a new stage tomorrow.
The First Day
Monday was my first day as a WAHM. It was in a word: AWESOME! I know not every day will be that way, but I am so grateful that my first day was good.
Now a disclaimer - I didn’t have the baby with me… So I was super productive
I set my alarm for 5 am to get up to get a jumpstart on my work from home. When Elijah woke up around 8, the two of us made Fran her breakfast shake and sent her on her way to work. Then we walked to Grandma and Google’s (aka Great-Grandma) house for me to drop him off. (I have Monday-Wednesday off this week.) Then I had a nice walk home. It felt great to be so relaxed and in control and just to be a part of something so different. I must admit that I felt pangs of guilt and I voiced them to Fran. I felt guilty that I am the one at home. I felt guilty if I stopped to watch something on TV. I know I am doing a lot by staying here at home and that technically I don’t get a break from it. We talked about how my life is the house, working from home and the kids seven days a week and I don’t get to walk away from that. While I worked at the office I got a break from home regularly five days a week. And the evenings and weekends while sometimes I worked, I got a break from the work environment. But now I am home all the time. I am excited about that, but the reality of it all starting hitting last week. I know I just have to give myself time and learn to be a little less type A. Fran and I also discussed that may be every other month or two that either she or one of the grandparents could take the kids so I could either have the house to myself or go spend the day by myself doing whatever. We truly feel that one of us being home is the best thing for our family life and our individual growth time. Some of Fran’s coworkers are fairly negative. May be we are too optimistic. We’ve always prided ourselves in being completely (and sometimes brutally honest) with one another. We really don’t hide much if anything at all. We both have the weighty consciences and feel guilty about stuff like that. We’ve learned to communicate in a way that doesn’t hurt the other’s feelings, but instead try to view the situation from an outside view. Wow - I digress!
Okay, back to yesterday. I went to the grocery store for the first time by myself in a long time. I loved walking up and down the aisles picking out our meals for week. I felt creative and young again :) Hahaha! I cleaned our TV room like it had crazy, moving the furniture around to sweep underneath. I organized our tupperware/baking items. I cleaned out our CD’s. I caught up on our dish washing. And I made a fairly decent healthy dinner. My roasted veggies were so delicious
By the time Fran and the baby got home, I was pooped! I started worrying again about how I will ever get all my stuff done (work, cleaning, cooking, errand running) and take care of the Elijah and little Avocado. But today, I felt at peace again. I think I was just lacking sleep!
Posted by frangela on July 9th, 2008 under Elijah, Family, Home, Work, Baby II, WAHM | Comment now »Busted on the 4th
As any holiday goes for us, we were busy bouncing between events and family functions all day. Perhaps our most eventful memory was a small parade for kids to decorate their bikes, wagons, scooters, or selves and march around the lake that’s 1/3 of a mile from the house. We were so excited to take Elijah and we talked it all up! Whenever we mentioned it, he would stomp his foot and loudly sputter, “Paraaa!” We set out for the lake early, pulling Elijah in his red wagon while he eagerly waved his flags.
Elijah’s wagon was promptly and modestly decorated. Pics to follow in the morning… Afterward, he wanted to run around the gymnasium with all the bigger kids. So Fran and I sat off a few feet away and watched proudly as our son run around screeching and waving his hands. Occasionally he would look over and smile. Then it happened… Our happy, energetic boy met the floor. A slightly older child who was running precariously close to Elijah, took a quick turn to run into our boy. Elijah fell flat on his front side and his chin bounced on the floor. As soon as his head was up, he beautiful, big, white teeth were covered with blood. Our poor, sweet boy! 
Oh, it made us so, so sad to see him like that. Fran quickly and calmly scooped him up as we began cleaning his mouth up. All his teeth were in tact. His upper lip and gums were injured and swollen. What was able to calm our son fairly quickly? Taking him outside to see the dog-dogs and flags!
Poor boy had a rough 4th of July!
Posted by frangela on July 7th, 2008 under Elijah, Fun | 3 Comments »Quickening
I do believe it has happened! Sunday evening Fran and I were on our way to a little outing, just the two of us, and I just felt this light sort of tapping in my lower abdomen. It crossed my mind that it might have been quickening, but I thought it a bit early and dismissed it. However, it happened again about thirty minutes later. I wasn’t hungry and that day gas and bloating didn’t seem to be an issue. I mentioned it to Fran the second time. It wasn’t a cramp, it wasn’t a pain, it just felt fluttery. We wondered… It happened very briefly last night and again this mid-morning when I was sitting at my desk at work. I mentioned it to my doctor yesterday and it seems the quickening has occurred. It’s incredibly exciting, but in a calming way - if that makes sense. I am not in disbelief, it’s more of a happy, peaceful feeling. On some level, I am crazy excited but yet on another level, it drives my obsessive brain frantic when I don’t feel it right now! All in good time, huh?
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